Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Coming to Knox has given me so much confidence. The people here are kid, non judgmental, and smart. There are only a few that seem to be pretentious, but most are just great people. I usually have some anxiety talking to people, even the ones I have met, but here I have total confidence. I can really see my self falling in love with Knox, and never ever forgetting my experience here. Its strange that its only been about two weeks. I feel like I have been here for more than a month or even two months. I also feel so much more comfortable about my sexuality. I have known I was bisexual since I was twelve, but have gone through times where I find boys or girls more attractive. Even though I have never felt comfortable putting a label on my self, I have felt the need to in the past. Here though, people understand that sexuality is fluid, and that I don't need a label. I can just be my self, and love anyone I want with out having to explain it. I just am who I am, and am not identified by small things like my sexuality or gender or race or background. I'm just... Lily. I'm more at one with my self and who I am. It's great and I didn't know that I would feel it so fast. Of course, I do still feel self conscious a lot of the time. I mean, I am for Los Angeles, where the ideal women seems to be 110 pounds, blonde blue eyed, tan and has large breasts. I still feel upset about how I look and don't feel pretty very often, but that is starting to dwindle. Part of it is the club students against sexism in society. Which is mostly women, and feels like a family when ever I go. I love it here, and I love the people I have become friends with.