Tuesday, November 17, 2009
So finals are starting and I am not that stressed. Maybe its because I have a conference with my FP teacher about a paper I have already written, and a conference with my poetry teacher where we talk about my poems. Not that hard. Im starting to miss home a lot. The smells, the sounds, my bed... I'm really looking forward to all of those things. I'm really excited to see Flor, my best friends since the sixth grade. I have not seen her in a really long time, and I can't wait to be able to talk to her in person. Its gonna be strange though. To eat breakfast with out my room mate, to eat lunch and dinner with out my girl friend or suite mates. For it to be quiet at two in the morning. To not be able to just go out of my room and talk and hang out with at least four people. To eat anything I want. To lie in my room and not feel bad about not hanging with my friends. To have my mom tell me to do things instead of being able to take care of my self all day long. Not that I mind that, but I am now used to taking care of my self on my own time. It's going to be strange to go back to a life that I am now not used to. To something that I was used to when I was in a much different place.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
One of my room mates reminds me of my father. She comes home drunk most of the time, and it really disturbs me. I get that familiar feeling in my stomach, of pain and sadness and anger, but not saying anything about it. I feel like I can't because it won't do anything, but also because I am to scared too. I hate that feeling, I hate that I have to feel it again, and I hate that it reminds me only of the bad parts of my father. When ever she is around, I have to get out of the room, I can't be around her anymore. It makes me sad to see some one so young already in that state.
Friday, November 6, 2009
So last night I dyed my hair black and I got my eyebrow pierced tonight. Its weird to look so different than from what I looked like for nineteen years...
So... winter break is coming up and everyone is acting like we are graduating or its gonna be summer and were not going to see one another for a really long time. We are coming back in about a month and we will all see each other again. I am gonna miss my friends. It's going to be weird to be in a room by my self, to be in a place where there isn't always some one to talk to, even at three in the morning. But I am excited to nap in my bed. I will really miss my girlfriend. I will miss seeing her everyday. But we will call each other, and IM and text, and skype. So it will be ok.
I like the new look. I feel different, and I look different to match how I feel.