Some times I would like to be called handsome rather than pretty. Some times I just feel handsome, and it makes me uncomfortable when some one says I look pretty, because I don't feel that way.
Coming to Knox and meeting people who feel this way, made me realize this in my self. Meeting girls who wanted to be boys, girls who where happy to be girls, but wanted to be handsome. Meeting boys who were happy to be more pretty then all the girls in their grade. This gender play, these gender fuckers, made me realize my own gender. My very own, one that was not what society told me to be, one that wasn't the one I was because my friends told me so, the one that I was, the I am. I am still figuring out what it is, but I am growing more and more comfortable with my self every day.
Of course it has hard some times. Some time I am just so fucking confused it hurts, and I wish it was easier. Some times I wish I was straight and girly and heteronormative, because it just seems so much easier. But I am happy to be who I am. I am happy to be the way I am. I just have to get comfortable with my self, and not care about how comfortable every one else is.